Thursday, April 14, 2011


Sex sells, this is not a surprise to anyone. Not only in terms of selling products but also in terms of selling/branding yourself. Over the past few years I have branded myself as a sex blogger. In many situations sex bloggers will keep themselves private and hidden behind their words, even using fake names. This is to keep their real identity a secret; you never know who might stumble upon your writing. When I started blogging I didn’t really care who knew what I did, I use my real name and it’s always me in my pictures. Throughout the years as I got recognized as a writer I also got sexualized.

This is actually a debate I have had with family members and friends many times since I have started. When I was a little girl I was taught that it is a bad thing to let men sexualize you and only see you as a sexual object. That if men do see you like that they have no respect for you. Even today from people I am told the same thing. I shouldn’t put myself out there as a sex object and I should be ashamed if I do and if I do then I have no respect for myself.

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If some guy or girl wants to look at me as a sex object than I have no problem with that. Sexualize me all you want, I have no one else but myself to blame for it. I am the one that put me out in the world in that manner. I openly talk about my sex life and have done nude modeling. I am all out there for the world to see. One of the reasons I put my physical self out there is because I knew it would broaden my audience of readers, and it has.

I have the utmost respect for myself. Just because I don’t mind if some guy thinks of me as a sex object doesn’t mean I don’t know my self-worth. I take it as a compliment when people praise my sexualness. I have gotten quite a few messages from guys and girls telling me I was their masturbation material for that evening. Someone once told me I should be disgusted when I hear things like that. In reality it makes me smile and giggle. It’s nice to know I have that power with my body. I get letters from women saying they wish they could be as open and out there like I am and that I should be proud of it.

It’s not a bad thing to be sexualized by someone. If someone does it in a manner you personally think is degrading than I agree in that instance it’s not appropriate. But what is degrading and crossing the line for some people might be perfectly fine for someone else. I am simply saying for myself I have no issue with it and if you too have no issue with it then there is nothing wrong with that. Don’t let other people’s beliefs that are different than your own make you feel bad about the decisions you have made.

In the end all I am really saying is don’t feel bad for being portrayed as a sexual being if you yourself see nothing wrong with it. Embrace it and feel proud. Sexualize me all you want, I have no issue with it. I also have no issue using the fact that people sexualize me to further myself and my writing and gain more exposure. When it comes down to it who is going to get more readers, the writer who is anonymous or the writer who is a bit more out there and risqué? In no way am I hurting myself or disrespecting myself, I am just being myself.


Pete Schult said...


Thanks for this post. For many years I felt guilty for looking at porn and thinking about sex. First, it was because I was religious, but when I left religion behind, it was because I was influenced by the idea that porn objectifies women. Recently, though, as the Internet has made it easier for people in porn to communicate with their fans, it's become clear that, even if there is temporary objectification, I can still see the women producing porn as whole, entire people.

misscasanova said...

Hi ,

Love and agreed with your post .Be yourself . don't care the bastard looks on you . just be yourself .
Good luck