Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Screw Rules

I don’t like people telling me what I can and cannot do. One of the biggest things I have issues with is these ladies and their “rules” on dating. Specific guidelines that one must follow if they want to meet the right man and have him call you back for another date. I’m sorry this isn’t grade school and no one tells me how to handle my sex life but me. I’m going to do what feels right for me and so should you. I’m going to find the right man for me by acting like who I am.

The one that bothers me the most is how ladies feel you should wait so many dates to bust out the sex talk and moves. Never have sex on the first date, don’t talk about sex too much, he won’t respect you have sex too soon, etc. First of all sex is my job, it’s a big part of my life and who I am. I will not apologize for that. One of the first questions you get asked is what you do for a living. And when I ramble off all my sex related jobs, which sparks a sex conversation.

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I’m very open about sex and sometimes people aren’t ready for that or know what to say. But I won’t censor who I am or what I think just because “the rules” say I should act like a lady. I am always a lady and most of the time this lady has a dirty mind, doesn’t make me any less of one as far as I’m concerned. Talking about it also helps clear up a lot of misconceptions that they might have about me because I work in the sex industry.

I have a very high sex drive I want it all the time. That’s not to say I go out and look for men to sleep with every night. Sex on the first date is a big no-no according to the “the rules.” He won’t respect you, he will only think of you as sex, blah blah blah. Sure sometimes that may happen but not always. If I want to have sex on a date I’m going to do it. To me it’s not about how many dates into it you are it’s about our sexual chemistry. And if we don’t have it then it’s not going to work for me. I have been in situations where from the moment we met it was instant fire and the evening ended in sex. Do I regret it; absolutely not it’s what I wanted to do. Sometimes dates and dates go by and no action. If the situation feels right to me then I’m going with it.

The other speculation is you can’t have a lasting real relationship when you sleep with someone so quick. My boyfriend, who is the love of my life, and I were making out within 20 minutes of meeting each other. Granted we had technically known each other already for about 8 months, but only by phone. (I had interviewed him for my site and we stayed in touch) Until that moment our relationship was based on dirty photos and sexting with conversations here and there. The night I met him I totally would have banged the hell out of him, but he had to work the next day. The sexual chemistry was insane between the two of us; I am not one to deny insane sexual chemistry. But it didn’t happen that night, it did happen two days after that. What happened between us turned into a loving serious relationship, with a whole lot of sex.

Now I’m not telling you to always have sex on the first date and only talk about sex to them. It’s more about what is right for you and how you want to live your life. Living by some fucked up “rules” that someone feels us women should all act is preposterous. I’m going to do what I want, what I feel is right for me and my body. The only person who can determine that is me. So you should determine what is right for you and makes you happy.


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

well done my little honey!! love mama xoxo

Mary Madskills said...

Hear, hear!
Lucy, you are so right!

I always get crap because I am an open person when it comes to sex, some people even call me a sexaddict - simply because I am a woman who enjoys having sex (and lots of it).
Apparently that means that I am a sexaddict who can't function if I don't have sex every day.

Well, fuck them all (and not in the fun way).
I love your blog, keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Damn, right! Love your blog.

question said...

Women who know what they want/who they are make my heart go a flutter

A.Z. Foreman said...

Well said, Lucy. Well said. It irritates me to no end that women are often made to feel like there's something wrong with them for being eager to fuck.

When a woman tells me how awesome it is that I don't think less of her for, say, giving me head, I'm not flattered. Rather, I am saddened that such a thing should make me seem exceptional, and am likewise enraged at the countless assholes whose behavior has set the bar so shamefully low. You know the world's fucked up when all a guy has to do to seem awesome is not act like a complete prick.

You warm the cockles of sex-positive feminism's heart

Anonymous said...

Thank you.

As a woman, I'm dishearten by the backwards thinking and hypocritical ways of other so-called "feminist" women.

Nothing wrong with sex. If a person wants, and the other person consents, then why not?

Anonymous said...

This is exactly something I have been thinking about recently. I am glad that I am not alone =) Thank you!

livvvvv said...

OMG i couldn't agree more...screw not-fucking on a first or second date. if you're wildly attracted to each other and it's happening organically, who cares? do what you want! there's nothing hotter than a strong, sexually empowered woman.