Monday, August 30, 2010

Things That Piss Me Off About Porn

I am Surrounded by porn, I review it and I work for production companies. Needless to say I have seen a lot of porn in my days. I have come to the point where I know what I like and I know what annoys the fuck out of me. I am about to get out all the annoying things I hate in porn to watch. Now I'm not going to name names for certain things but if you read something you do you may be one of the ones annoying me.

To read what annoys me click read more

1. Unnecessary boob sex moaning. Really ladies, does it really feel that good. Sure I can understand a slight noise or two but what really gets me is when a girl practically has an orgasm from it. You aren't fooling anyone, it doesn't feel that good.

2. Chipped nail polish. Presentation is everything for porn performers. You should be at your best and put together. I get completely distracted when a girl is playing with her clit and her nails are all chipped. Could you not have taken a few minutes and put a new coat on or even taken it off. Drives me nuts.

3. It's ok to be quiet. There are some girls that feel the need to talk the whole freaking time. Shut the fuck up. I don't to hear constant dirty talk or you basically narrating whats going on. I'm watching it now, I know what is going on! Sure moaning is fine, I would rather hear that. And don't get me wrong I like the occasional dirty talk but not when it never stops and there is not break from it.

4. Noisy blowjobs. One of my biggest pet peeves in my everyday life is noisy eaters. The slapping the lips and noises they make makes me want to punch babies. So there is nothing worse then a girl who is a noisy blowjob giver. I don't expect it to be silent because even I make noise sometimes. But when the whole blowjob is sucking and slapping and slurping noises, that bugs me.

5. Baby Talk. Ladies it's not cute when you talk to the penis in a little girl voice. It actually is kind of creepy sometimes. Big girl voices. Big girl voices all the time, otherwise I want to punch you in the vagina.

6. Missing spots shaving. However you want to style your hair down there is fine with me. But if you are going to spend time shaving, spend time getting every spot. I saw this girl the other day that had everything except for a few patches of hair she missed on her butt hole. And it's not like she skipped the whole area because she got some but not all of it. It was all close up on it and shiny because of the lube so it was highlighted even more.

Same with razor burn or obviously not shaving right before. Your vagina is your job, take care of that! That is what everyone is starring at, it should look it's best.

Sure there are a few other things that drive me insane but this is all that comes to mind at the moment. But despite these things I will continue my porn watching because I love the hot men and big penises.


Friday, August 27, 2010

Oh So Now You Want To Talk To Me.....

When I was younger I didn't' have the dream of working in the adult industry. No, that didn't come till college. I wasn't event that sexual when I was younger. When I was in high school I didn't have the same mind set that I do now. I didn't even start masturbating until I was 23.

I was pretty shy sexually. I never talked about sex. Needless to say when people from my past find out what I do they are usually surprised. I get the "what happened to the Lucy we knew in high school?" (this happens with all my tattoos too) Well she got some tattoos and got comfortable and knowledgeable about sex. I found this industry fascinating and was determined to work in it.

To keep reading click read more

I have no problem with talking to my old friends about it and all the stuff I've done. Which includes the nude photos. But what really gets me and annoys me is all of a sudden hearing from certain guys from high school out of no where.

It's widely known what I do, no secret. Everyone I went to high school with knows. So when all this info came out I was contacted by a handful of guys. These weren't guys I was ever friends with. Sure we knew each other and would have the occasional conversation but I didn't consider us friends. Well all of a sudden they are acting like my best friends. The conversations always start out the same. Normal small talk about how you're doing. Then a few messages in it always goes the same direction.

"So where can I see you in videos?" Oh really fucker, you wanna see me in videos? You never gave me the time of day and now you think you acting all friendly to me I'm going to just offer up where to find that. Are you smoking crack? (for the record I am not in any videos)

So now since I'm naked on the internet you wanna talk to me? Yeah not going to work with me. Oh you think I can introduce you to all sorts of porn stars? Yes in fact I can but I am not going to. No I will not get you free porn or hire you as an editor or camera man. Seriously......

But the kicker is always wanting to see me naked. It really just makes me laugh because I just fuck with them but never give them the info. If they were at all smart they would know to look at my site and find the info there, I guess they aren't that intelligent.

I bet my high school reunion in two years is going to be a trip!


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit

This toy is not for the small and timid vagina. My vagina has handled some pretty big toys in the past, so this one was no challenge. The Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit from Evolved Novelties is a serious dual vibrator. It has quickly become one of my favorite vibrators. It’s big, powerful and pink. What’s not to like. Plus the fact that it got me off internally is a huge plus. Not many toys can do that unless they are good with the g spot stimulation. Still my boyfriend’s penis is the best but that’s a whole other review.

Click read more to see what my vagina thought of it!

You will never get bored with this toy. You can control the shaft and clit piece separately. Each piece has five functions and five levels of power, all together you have 625 combos of orgasming pleasure that you can try out! The one downside is that is doesn’t remember what combos you like and you have to find them again. But think of it as an adventure, a wonderful vibrating adventure to your favorite combo. The clit piece is a little bunny that gets really powerful, like my clit approved power. The shaft is another delight. There are four rows of pearl perfect placed along the shaft. The great thing about these pearls is they are on a track, so they continuously move around in a circle. Much better then when the pearls are free flowing because those ones don’t move as well when your muscles tense up.

The material feels really nice too. I usually am skeptical of jelly materials but this one passes the test. It is made of TPR plastic and is phthalate free and latex free. Great for anyone who has a sensitive vagina. Plus it doesn’t have that gross plastic smell when you take it out of the package. It is great to use with either silicone or water based lube. Also the box is perfect to store it in for future use, so convenient. Evolved is so confident about their toys that they have a one year warranty on all their products.

I added a little lube to the shaft and got ready for some me time. The toy does have more girth then most other toys which I do like. So if you are not used to a large toy go slow. Knowing me and my vagina I went right to the top speed and was in heaven! Plus I discovered that you can bend the shaft a little bit so it swings and hits the g spot. I have a special way of holding duals sometimes to get the most out of them. I get in doggy position and hold the vibe from the back so it pushes hard on my g spot. It sounds funny but works wonders. In no time my vagina was feeling feelings and was having an awesome orgasm!

Go out and get your vagina something pretty! It is sure to enjoy this powerful toy! On that note I’m giving it another go.