Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My Mom Should Have Known

Parents never think their kids will grow up and turn into porn stars, strippers, or in my case a sex blogger. Kids never show signs of it when they are younger, except for me. This is the first in the series of "My Mom Should Have Known." Stories from my childhood or things that I did that should have clued my parents into what I would turn out like as an adult. However sometimes the stories are from my mom's perspective and she claims because of that instance she should have saw it coming. Like this first story.

I loved Barbies when I was little, I loved Ken just as much. I needed an equal amount of both to play with. One day when I was really little, I think I was about 5, my mom yelled to my room to get ready because we were leaving to go somewhere. As she approached my room she could hear me playing with my Barbie and Ken and she decided to listen. This is what I made them say.

Ken: Barbie let's go we need to leave.
Barbie: Wait Ken I'm not ready I have no clothes on.
Ken: You look alright to me Barbie!

And then a few minutes of plastic smacking noises went on, then I was ready to leave. I was always constantly making my Barbies do dirty things to each other and they were always naked. My mom should have known.

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4 comments:

Steph (Beastegrl2) said...

I DID THE SAME THING! Only! I never had a Ken doll, because my mom thought it was weird he didn't have a penis or something, nah I really dont know why I didn't have one. So i pretended one of the barbies was a man and they would fuck all the time in my barbie camper!!!

Adri Cowan said...

Alright, I'm not trying to fit in here, but I did that too. With everything. All my dolls and toys lost their virginity, like, 10 yrs before I did. Born pervs? The world may never know.

mrchrishunt said...

As a young man, I INSISTED that my Snake Eyes GI Joe (limited edition 12 in. figure from the early 90s) have a Barbie. Even at that tender age, I understood that the fighting man had certain priorities which existed outside of the destruction of COBRA.

Brittany St. James said...

My Barbies did their part to support the war by doing my brother's GI Joes.