Friday, February 27, 2009

Does Cheating Do A Marriage Good?

Details came to me and asked my opinion on an interesting subject that Aaron Gell just wrote an article about for them. First of all can we just take a moment and talk about how amazingly awesome it is that the people from Details emailed me about this. Before you know it I will be everywhere, it's all part of my evil/sexual plan. But back to the article. Family Affair is a feature article this month dealing with extra marital affairs and whether it really does help a marriage become stronger and last.

Reasons for needing to fool around are not all the same. One couple who got married to young never got the change to be with many people and want to know what that's like. Others feel they need a change or aren't getting their sexual needs met at home but don't want to end their relationship with their significant other. But is cheating really the right answer or is it a quick and simple way of not dealing with actual problems you may need to fix?

I'm never one to judge another person and what they do with their sex life, I deal with enough of that myself. I know everyone is into different things and deals with situations differently. This article is no different. If you and your spouse are fine with an arrangement like this then why not. For a lot of the couples mentioned sex outside the marriage was not big deal, the only thing that did worry them is emotional connections. Affairs range from one night stands to only people they have dated.

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None of the couples are dating or having relationships outside the marriage it's only sex. The practice of swinging has been around for ages. What once was all underground at secret clubs is now all out in the open and has even spawned television shows about the subject. For some it really has saved their marriage and brought them closer. For others it could do more damage then good. To be able to handle this situation you would need to be a very secure and strong couple.

Both partners should be onboard 100%. It makes me wonder if all the people involved are really alright with their arrangement or are simply going along with it out of fear if they didn't they would lose their other half for good. I'm not an advocate of cheating in the least bit, that is when the other person doesn't know about it. But if both of the people are comfortable with it then I say why not. Like I said before everyone handles their problems in all sorts of ways. For some cheating is the answer they are looking for.

I could never do this. I have been in situations in the past where I was not the only woman. All people involved knew but that didn't mean I was completely ok with it. It was not a serious relationship at all which is why I was not too concerned. But if I was in a serious relationship I would only want to be with that person and they should feel the same. I am way too insecure to deal with a situation like that and it would drive me crazy. Call me old fashioned if you want but when I find that man I want to marry I only want to be with him. (And Jean Val Jean)

Knowing that my partner was not getting the sexual satisfaction he needed from me would be a problem we would need to fix and not by just adding other people. However I don't see that ever happening with me because I always want sex and I am pretty much willing to try just about anything. The only problem I would have is over sexing my man. I'm talking my perfect situation would be everyday sometimes more then once. What can I say I like sex.

So take a look at the article and let me know what you think about it. Is this something for you or to each his own? Do you think this really can save a marriage?

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